As a child I know I must have driven my parents crazy. I was always on the go. My nick names were things like: Chatty Cathy, Jitterbug, and other names that to me, became the equivalent to "Airhead". When I was old enough to drive, my dad would make me sit still in a chair for 15 minutes before I left. He always said I was flying around and was going to go out and kill myself driving if I didn't calm down.
In school I struggled with math, never heard a word they were saying in history and generally was a "C" student. I found my niche playing in the band and excelled at things that involved "doing" something while learning rather than sitting still. In college I majored in music and very few of my classes had lectures. I became an "A" student, even making the dean's list.
Over the years I often found myself feeling overwhelmed when I had too much going on, I was terrible at managing my finances and keeping organized. My closets were always piled high. Mail and other papers would stack up until they filled a laundry basket. I've probably tried every planning system/day-timer that's out there at some point in time.
I was in a Women's Bible Study at my church in the spring of 2000 and we often shared our struggles and prayer requests. On the final week of our study, a woman I barely knew approached me and said she had a book for me to read. She handed it to me and I know my face scrunched up with a questioning look as I read the title, ADD/ADHD In Adults. She said she heard the frustrations that were piling up in my life, recognized some things that she too struggled with and she thought I would enjoy the book. I was polite and thanked her, still wondering what in the world she was talking about and how she gleaned all of this insight from my comments during the study.
Out of pure curiosity, I started reading it when I got home and didn't put it down until I had finished the whole book in one sitting. Every page seemed to be describing me. I decided to see a professional and explore this further. After several tests, they confirmed an ADHD diagnosis and I decided to try medication that my doctor recommended. The first day I took the medication was like the first day of the rest of my life. The whir of constant thoughts flooding my head calmed down enough that I could focus better than I ever had. At 40 years old, so many things in my life started to make sense. I wasn't an airhead after all.
My oldest son started to show signs of ADD in about 3rd grade. He's not hyperactive, so most people just viewed him as being lazy or undisciplined. I became determined that my son would not grow up feeling stupid like I did. Since then I've read everything I could get my hands on to become
better educated about ADD learning and organization strategies.
If your child is in the public school system, you will either become an advocate for your child or chances are he/she will fall through the cracks and struggle throughout school. If you think your child may have ADD/ADHD, have him/her tested, learn what your rights are within the educational system and learn what you can do to help your child. While ADD/ADHD is covered under the American's With Disabilities Act, you will not get support or accommodations for your child unless you have someone in your school who is specifically designated to ADD cases (which is rare). Otherwise, chances are high that your child will not get much support at all unless you are vigilant about it. Yes, there are a few private schools in the area that are targeted to ADD/ADHD and Dyslexia but my thought is this: We pay plenty of money in taxes and our children deserve to have a good education without us paying another $18k a year to get it somewhere else.
I'm not ashamed or shy about my ADHD anymore. If talking about it helps someone else, I will have saved them some of the pain and self-doubt that I dealt with for years. Others have done the same for me and I am grateful.
I've also learned that kids with ADHD in schools more often than not will fall through the cracks if they don't have a parent looking out for their needs and special learning styles. The purpose of this blog is to share what I have learned along the way that might help another mom who is feeling ready to pull her hair out in frustration. If I can help, it's all worth it.
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