Having a child with AD/HD can make you feel like you're fighting a losing battle sometimes, especially where school is concerned. It seems like people are either frowning on your parenting or frowning on your child for not fitting into their mold. I've always tried to support our teachers and do everything I could to partner with them rather than being a complaining parent, but what I've learned over the years is not to doubt my instincts as a mother. If you're feeling like that, here's my advice:
Don't let people make you feel like your child isn't measuring up or you aren't doing your job as a parent somehow because of AD/HD related struggles. At some point a teacher will say this to you, and you'll feel like you've just been punched in the stomach. "If he would just put forth some effort and have some discipline in his life he would be able to do the work."
A teacher who says this doesn't know a
thing about AD/HD and is probably not going to be a good fit for your child. Most likely the problem is that your child learns differently and the teacher expects that what works for most kids should work for all. It will difficult to change that perception. The longer your child gets this kind of feedback, the more he will convince himself that he is not as smart as everyone else. He will start to give up. Don't let this happen.
Find strategies that work for him and share them with his teacher. (My favorite book of learning strategies is Teaching Teens With ADD and ADHD: A Quick Reference Guide for Teachers and Parents. I've found many of these strategies to be useful for much younger kids, not just teens) If the teacher isn't willing to understand your child's challenges and implement reasonable accommodations, request a different teacher. Don't feel bad about it and don't wait until half the year is over.
Your instincts as a parent are right! Protect and advocate for your child first and foremost. Schools care about kids, but rarely will you find anyone looking out for your child the way you do. Get in there and make sure your child is getting the education he/she is entitled to!
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